MERRY XMAS TO EVERYONE!!!

It's gonna be a cosy Xmas eve dinner tonite at my place.

 Roasted honey chicken with potatoes
Rigatoni with tuna and sundried tomatoes

Guests are only gonna be Ameera, Chris and Mo. Since the others arent in town this Xmas, we'll plan a New Years Eve dinner and make it a good one. :)

I hope the food turns out well for tonite tho :P

Things here been pretty hectic.
Lights got cut off again for 4 days but its back on now and i hope it'll stay that way!! Its winter season now so it gets pretty cold at night. Kinda lovin the weather tho, its not as harsh as last year which is pretty nice.

Another sis tied the knot last weekend. Congrats Nana and Fahmy !! Saw the pictures and they were gorgeous!

Love u and miss u sis!!

Speakin of congratulations, another ex of mine in Singapore got engaged so congrats !

Bumped into Jae in the club - we just said hi and i walked away (real fast!). He was just standin by the bar with Chuckie (mutual fren of ours) and left soon after. Chuckie told me later on that he thinks Jae misses me. Cuz when i walked past, Jae said to him "Damn man.. she's so fine... I fucked up real bad"

Wat it really means to me..
"Eat your heart out sucker!"

Boys are Dumb.

This is gonna sound random i know but i was thinkin about the men in my life (the past year tat is) and i realised a freaky coincidence!! I say coincidence becuz in no way i could or would plan such a thing.

The guys i were with the past year were all Americans.
The ones i actually had a relationship with had names starting with "J".

Jae - The handsome devil. The one who put me thru the longest emotional rollercoaster ride this past year. The one who i'd hate to love (unfortunately i do).

Chris - The sweetheart. The one who i'd prob be frens forever with. The one who fell in love with me and the one who's heart i broke. I wish i could love him the way i should... i just cant. I never found out till later but his first name is Jason.

Junior - Y'all know about this one. The sexy one. I'm still in love with him and maybe when the time is right we might get back together.

The other freaky coincidence....
The other guys that i dated in between all had names beginning with "R".

Rico - Dominican dude.The psycho stalker who was crazy bout me. *shudders*

Ronnie - Had a crush on him for a short while and found out he had a crush on me too. LOL. Handsome fella. Got sent back to the States for getting into trouble drinkin and drivin here.

Ryan - Jr's lookalike. Din really date him tho we just messed around one time.

Russell - Absolute sweetie. Makes me laugh tons. Hes kinda cute.. yea i kinda like him :P

Oh yea and the 2 men from my past - Juraimi and Rick.

WEIRD RITE?????

And i concluded tat J + R = JR

JR!!!!!

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm............

Getting more and more tired emotionally and mentally as days go on.

I'm still trying to focus my energy into something else rather than drown in my own regrets and past actions..

It's so hard... I got away with it easier in the past cuz there were always distractions.

There still are distractions now.. but its just different.

Jae and Kate are engaged. He's already introducin her as his wifey. So its a big deal.

Now's the time for me to really let go.

For real For real.

I'm bitter. And sore. And jealous.

Crazyjealous.

And i'm not still in love with him. My heart's with Jr.

Jae just drives me crazy. Cant explain it.

All the more i need to leave...

I've already accepted the fact tht he's not worth it..

So why the hell cant i just let the fuck go.

Fuck.

 I wish i hadnt met him.

Then i wouldnt have known how good he makes me feel.

Argh STOP.

Woo Sah....

I need time...

It's interesting how so much drama can go on in this little island :)

I think i'm becomin somewhat of a mini celebrity here.

Therefore i need to leave.

Will update on that... but moving on.

So me and Jr broke up. Mainly cuz we were apart for too long and things got a bit crazy... But wat triggered it were other people who started getting involved in our business and it just got out of hand. I was inconsolable for a while but i'm startin to get over it. There's still love tho bittersweet... its just gonna take a lot of time till everything falls into place.

Congrats on my sista Yan for the birth of her beautiful baby boy!!!! I cant wait to meet the precious bundle of joy! You and Faz will be awesome parents. MUAHHHH!

Baby Taye is a doll. Looks like his daddy - an absolute heartbreaker! LOL.

Camel came back for a couple of weeks. Din get to spend tat much time with him cuz since he's Mr Popular he gotta run around a lot. Bleah.
But he did surprise me at home when he came back. While i was sleepin no less!

America has voted for a black president.

This is history rite here! Congratulations Obama :)

Nawaf better keep his word and run naked now LOL

Baby Taye is in Bahrain!!!! I am dead excited for Jae and i cant wait to meet the lil bundle of cuteness! I know he feels like a proud ass daddy holding Taye right now :) Altho i still got mad love for him, i respect wat he has goin on with Taye and Angela. If u had seen a picture of Taye, you'd understand. That face is too precious. I know i am gonna fall in love with him when i do meet him. Cant take too long tho Jae! U know im gonna run away with tat boy! lol

Etihad interview is brought over to the 18th. Hope i get called for it!! Otherwise its gonna be another decision makin for me.
Singapore or USA?

Me and Jr are doin pretty well. I gotta start makin plans to go over and see him by early next year.  Sometimes i don't understand how lucky i am to have him. I'm hopin everything falls into place quick. I dont wanna wait 3 years to settle down!!I miss his face and i miss bein in his arms :(

Speakin of face, Jae introduced me to a fren of his who reminds me so much of Jr!!! It's so freaky that i cant look at him without smiling to myself. Its so embarrassing! lol. They've got the same thick perfect arched eyebrows, long thick eyelashes and that smile!!!! Damm... Of course when i told Jr this , he said "There's only one me"

Damn straight. And he only belongs to me. :) Lucky lil me.